NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

THE INTERNET IS IN DANGER! THIS SMURF IS OUTTA CONTROL!!!


Jason

Say wha--?

This was taken at Mackay Memorial Hospital.

The sign is full of spelling errors.

But this one in particular is one hell of a Freudian slip.


Jason

Wha--?

I get to walk by this everyday on the way to my new job.

I still haven't found the better half.

Jason

My latest obsession

In just about every MRT station and 7-11 you'll find these toy machines. And they're actually really popular in Taiwan. You can get anything from Pooh to Thomas to Doraemon (and they're actually licensed and legal!) toys just by dropping in a $50 NT coin (about $1.50 USD) and turning the knob. You don't know which one you'll get. It's best to get these from stations that have employees hanging around. This way, if you get one you already have, then the worker can open up the machine and swap the one you got for another one.

While the 7-11 stores have the machines where you can get the toys in the capsules, some of the nicer toys are the vinyl ones that are nicely designed and full of detail. You can get these from any 7-11 or any other quick stop. Just buy a specific drink or snack and pay an extra $39 NT ($1.20 USD). Unfortunately, the boxes are all the same, so its a crap shoot as to which one you'll get. And the 7-11 workers don't exchange them if you get one you already have.

I know these are somewhat popular in America among the comic/toy collectors, but in Taiwan they are popular among everyone. Just about every cube in my office has at least one entire collection of one of the 7-11 toys.

This is from the CiBoys Zodiac Warriors series from 7-11.


This is from the Sam series from 7-11.
Mild-mannered panda by day. . .


. . .ruthless viking warrior by night!


Here's the capsule they come in when you get them from a machine.


This guy is from the Legend of Zelda line.


This is Doraemon. Outside looks like his head. . .


. . .but when you open it, you get a scene from the cartoon!


This is Carnage from Spider-Man. I actually got this one in Japan.


1984 Transformers Jazz.


1984 Transformers Megatron.


How can you not love these? Hours of fun!


This is only a small sample of my collection. . .

Jason

Another reason to hate the Oscars

Where the hell are The Simpsons Movie, 300, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters?!

These are the only categories that matter to me. Winners are bolded.

Best Animated Feature
Persepolis
Ratatouille
Surf's Up

Best Music– Original Score
Atonement
The Kite Runner
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
3:10 To Yuma

Best Animated Short Film
I Met The Walrus
Madame Tutli-Putli
Même Les Pigeons vont Au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)
My Love (Moya Lyubov)
Peter & The Wolf
(Sorry, didn't see any of these.)

Best Visual Effects
The Golden Compass
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Transformers

Best Original Screenplay
Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille BRAD BIRD!!!
The Savages

Special Achievement Award for Awesomeness
Transformers

Special Achievement Award for Anyone Whose Name Starts with Brad and Ends with Bird
Brad Bird

Yes, it's true. Ratatouille and Transformers are the only ones I saw on this list. But really, that's all you needed to see in 2007.

Screw the Oscars.

Jason

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

When we went to New York last year, we wanted to go to a Broadway show just for the experience. We didn't know if we'd like it or not, but we knew it would still be more fun than looking at the Statue of Liberty. We narrowed down our choices to two options: Spamalot and Sweeney Todd. I didn't know much about Sweeney Todd at the time, except that it was dark and bloody. We eventually decided on Spamalot, and we certainly don't regret it.

After seeing Sweeney Todd the movie, I'm glad we didn't see it in New York. Musicals like this have to be pretty light on story in order to fit in all of those songs. I don't know exactly how much of the movie is different from the Broadway show, but I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much if I had already known how it ended.

But the whole Broadway musical part of it is second to what really matters about this film–it was directed by Tim Burton. If you don' t agree that Burton is one of the greatest and most innovative directors ever, then you might as well stop reading this. If you're afraid of spoilers, then you might want to come back later.

In an interview, Burton said that the original show was centered more around the character of Mrs. Lovett, but for his movie he wanted Sweeney Todd to be center stage. This is what I like about Burton's movies. He picks the character he likes most and centers everything around him or her. A perfect example is when Mrs. Lovett is fantasizing about what her life will be like with Sweeney Todd after they leave London. She is singing with enthusiasm and optimism, in a park, on the beach, on a pier, and on a front porch, while Todd just sits through the entire montage brooding over his miserable existence. This is supposed to be Mrs. Lovett's moment, but Burton doesn't care. While Mrs. Lovett constantly thinks of the future, Todd can't leave the present. Todd is someone who cannot let anything go. And by the end of the film, once the main characters fates are determined, Burton, much like Todd himself, doesn't bother telling anyone what the future holds for those who survived. Once his favorite character is gone, as far as he's concerned, the movie is finished.

This approach could be why Charlie and the Chocolate Factory didn't work as well as it could. The story is supposed to center around Charlie, but it's obvious that Burton would rather tell a story about an emotionally scarred adult boy rather than a poor, kind-hearted boy.

Another thing I like about Burton is how the central characters of his movies stand out significantly from the rest of the world. Again, in Mrs. Lovett's fantasy scene, Burton has three of the darkest, most pathetic characters in London, dressed entirely in black, white, and gray, picnicking while surrounded by the greenest grass and the bluest sky you'll ever see. Burton isn't afraid to remind you that the characters whose lives you currently care about are most likely hated by everyone else in London. In that same interview, Burton said he intentionally didn't want any other Londoners to sing. Restricting the musical numbers only to the main characters even separates them from the "normal" people, thus making them even more unaware of what is happening right under their noses.

Then there's the blood. There wasn't as much as I was hoping there would be, but it was so over-the-top that it still made me smile every time someone got slashed. I don't know how much of it was CGI. But just when you thought the blood was as sick as it could get, you actually see what happens to the bodies. I'm not talking about the pies, I'm talking about the drop. It was hilarious in a very sick way. This is from the same man who found many creative ways for a head to fall off after being cauterized in Sleepy Hollow.

Something else that stood out for me was the makeup. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter were so pale that when they walked into a dark room, they looked like heads floating in.

Johnny Depp really pulled this off well. I think Helena Bonham Carter does a great job of making Burton's characters believable instead of looking like Helena Bonham Carter trying to pull off a character. She would have been capable of carrying the movie herself if they had found a weaker actor for Todd. And Alan Rickman still has one of the greatest voices after James Earl Jones.

Highly recommended. But don't be a pansy like some of the people in the theater I went to by covering your eyes throughout half of it. Embrace the grotesqueness.

Jason

American Dog

How do you go from this




to this?



When I first found out about American Dog, I got really excited. It looks like an Edward Hopper painting brought to life. I loved Lilo and Stitch, but American Dog looked like a much more personal project from Chris Sanders. The story even sounded a little like Cars, where the dog, cat, and overgrown rabbit take a road trip through middle America. Rumor has it John Lasseter didn't like Lilo and Stitch and didn't care much for Chris Sanders. I'm sure Lasseter had his reasons for stopping production on the film, but it's disappointing to see it replaced with something that looks so generic and unoriginal. American Dog is unique. Each character has his own personality. And some of the stills and concept art I saw were just plain quirky. Bolt just looks like Balto with a higher budget. And why do they always make these character pose and grin in these images? It's just plain... blah.

I understand that Disney had to release some kind of animated movie about a dog in order to fulfill their marketing obligations, and that's the only reason to make Bolt. But I really hope American Dog isn't gone forever.

Cartoon Brew posted a nice cartoon from Chris Sanders. At least we still get to see how the cat is supposed to look.

Even if Sanders just brings back the characters in comic form, I'll be happy. However, I know that's impossible since Disney now owns all rights to the characters as well as 30% of Sanders' soul.

Jason

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

What better way to spend Christmas than with a movie?

Best movies of the year.

Ratatouille
I can't remember seeing this much acting in an animated film before. The whole "marionette" thing going on between Remy and Linguini is a perfect example. I remember watching a making-of documentary about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. No one ever talked about the rotoscoped Snow White or Prince. The only characters the animators really cared about were the elfs. They wanted each elf to have his own personality. This meant making each elf act. It also reminds me of Pinocchio when he is released from the strings as well as that drunk mouse from Dumbo. Those are perfect examples of acting in animation. The moments in Ratataouille where Linguini and Remy become puppet and puppeteer are fantastic examples of acting. This movie had long moments of acting without any dialogue. Now that's animation!

Transformers
It was a tough decision between this and Ratatouille for the #1 spot. It has no plot, no character development, and no point. But let's not focus on what it doesn't have and talk about what it does have: giant #$*%ing robots beating the @^%# out of each other. How could it not be good? Maybe it would be better if it had ninjas. But not giant robot ninjas because that would just make my head explode. Yes, it has ground-breaking visual effects, but what I actually liked was the human touch. No, not the "love story," but the way most shots of the Transformers are from people's points of view: over their shoulder, through their windshield, or through the window on the 42nd floor. This little touch made the robots even more menacing.

The Simpsons Movie
I had high hopes for this going in and I wasn't disappointed. What makes the first several seasons of The Simpsons so special is that they are not only funny, but sweet as well. Anytime characters goofed up, you felt sorry for them. They realized their mistake and tried to fix it. The early episodes had empathy. These days the show is just apathetic and numb. Each episode is a random series of events with each character throwing out one-liners. This movie goes back to the early days. Homer goofed up and tries to fix it. HIs family supports him (up to a point) and by the end the family grows closer. Also, the movie didn't ignore the fact that the television show isn't about the Simpson family. It's about the city of Springfield. My only complaint is that there wasn't enough Comic Book Guy in the movie.

300
Perfect in every little detail, even down to the Frank Miller-esque blood spatters. This film is gracefully beautiful in is grotesqueness, if that makes sense. The fight scenes are quite elegant and perfectly choreographed. And it uses slow motion at just the right times. The film as a whole looks wonderful. CGI blood is the future of cinema.

Zodiac
I loved the movie when I saw it, but I didn't realize just how much of it used bluescreens, layers, and other post-production CGI tricks. Even the victims' blood was CGI. I guess my prediction from 300 was on the nose.

The Bourne Ultimatum
I didn't get confused until after seeing the movie when I found out that this one doesn't pick up where the second one left off until halfway in. Now I have to watch all three of them again.

Spider-man 3
What they should have done is taken out Sandman completely. We didn't need to revisit Ben's murder. But keep Gwen Stacey and the love triangle. They also should have taken out Eddie Brock. Just let Peter put on the black costume, enjoy it a little too much, and this way Peter's dark side becomes the villain. Then when he separates himself from it, Venom is born. Venom is still just the black suit with a new life of its own thanks to Peter. But no, they had to have Eddie Brock because there would be an outcry from fans if the movie strayed from the comic. I hate when fanboys think they know the best way to make a movie.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
At least it made me not regret watching the previous movie, which had absolutely no plot or point. It did, however, look very pretty.

Shoot 'em Up
Fun. Pure, senseless, pointless fun. I think there's a story in there somewhere and a message about guns and how accessible they are...dangers...blah, blah, blah, whatever. This movie rocks. It's full of action, bullets, blood, and explosions. It has one of the greatest soundtracks ever, and the robot baby was freakin' hilarious. So grab a carrot and enjoy.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Similar to Rocky and Bullwinkle, if you don't like it then you just don't get it.

Blades of Glory
Pretty funny, but it's no Anchorman or Talladega Nights.

Pan's Labrynth
Spooky, creepy, and sad. I thought it was a great film to look at. There were a few holes in the plot, but that usually never keeps me from enjoying a movie.

Rush Hour 3
Don't even ask why I saw this one. All I'll say is that it needed less "comedy" and more "Jackie-Chan-edy." Except the scene with the nun. That was pretty damn funny.

Michael Clayton
Okay, I didn't see this one, but I did hear it was pretty good.

Fine. So they aren't the greatest movies of the year, but they are the ones I saw.

Jason

When spell check doesn't work

I saw an ad for a "prove reader" job. I think the fact that I replied to the job post is enough proof that I can read. The ad could also be a test, but I doubt it.

Jason

Spooky

Another pic of 101. Compare this with the picture from November 13. No camera tricks or Photoshop magic. Just a spooky day.

Jason

Thai-Huh?

Every time I tell someone I'm in Taiwan, they always hear Thailand. I just tried updating my contact info at my bank (again) and when the rep repeated the address, she kept saying Thailand.

I understand Thailand is more popular and probably gets a lot more tourism. However, the next time I mention Taiwan, please don't tell me how much you love Thai food and that you saw a documentary about it on TV and was fascinated by how the people get everywhere by riding elephants.

Jason

Generation Gap

On my way from one job to the next, I think I saw one of my high school students at the MRT station. He looked familiar, and I immediately thought that he was in one of the cram schools I work at. He saw me, too, but didn't say anything. He just... stared. I smiled in case he did turn out to be a student.

That's pretty much how it is with the high school students. I ask a question, they stare at me. I say hello, they giggle and run away. The elementary students are, thankfully, a different story.

I ask a question, each one tries to raise their hand higher and scream louder than the others for my attention. (Almost) every one of them wants to be heard. When I see them outside of class, they say "hello" or ask me a question. I talk to them and ask them questions, too, and even though I don't always get the right answer, I still give them credit for having more guts than the high school kids.

This evening one of the elementary students was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He turned around, saw me, and walked over to talk to me. He asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"I'm going home, how about you? Where are you going?" I replied.

"I'm going... to my... little sister's... school," he said, followed by a punch in the air that said success!

"Oh. Where is your little sister's school?" I asked.

"It's.. umm," was all he could get out before scratching his head and just pointing forward.

"That way?" I pointed in the same direction.

"Yeah, that way."

"How will you get there? Will you take the bus or train?" I asked.

"Umm... My little sister's school." he said. "Umm... My mother, father, little sister, and me are in my family."

Okay, so that wasn't exactly what I was asking, but it's still a hell of a lot better than just staring at me. He gets extra credit for that.

I thought that this was just a case of curious little kids always asking questions or wanting to be the center of attention. I thought all of these elementary students would just grow up to be like the shy high school kids. From what I understand, this isn't true. This really is the difference between two generations of English learners. They encourage these kids to talk to the foreign teachers as much as they can, which is great. Well, it would be great, but...

Last week a student came up to me while I was going through some papers and asked, "What time is it?"

There was a clock on the wall behind me and he was looking at it as he asked, but I knew he just wanted to say something. So I looked at my cell phone and told him, "It's 6:30." I wanted to keep the conversation going, "Do you have class later?"

"Umm... no class," he said.

"Did you have class today?"

"Yes I have class at..." He was looking at the clock, trying to get the time out when suddenly the Queen of Subtlety screamed, silencing the entire room. The student talking to me spun around in his seat. The Queen of Subtlety screamed again and the student ran back to his seat. He buried his nose in his textbook as the Queen of Subtlety screamed a third time.

I looked at her with a WTF expression on my face. "Was he bothering you?" she asked.

"No, we were talking in English," I said.

"Oh."

Crimany! Let them learn! Stop screaming!

And close your damn mouth when you eat!

Jason

Taipei Technology Information Month

Thursday and Friday we went to this technology and information convention in Taipei. We walked around to see what it's like and to see if we could walk away with any good deals. One deal was a little too good.

We went into a booth for a place that is an Authorized Reseller of Apple products to check out the MacBook Pro. We were asking questions about one and seeing how much we could lower the price. You can't buy anything in Taiwan without negotiating the price or insisting on getting free stuff. Since they wouldn't lower the price, the "Apple" guy said he would give us Microsoft Office. Already installed. Okay, I thought this was a little odd. Then we asked if they sold Adobe CS3 Master Collection. He said that he would install that as well. However, we can only use it for our personal use, not professionally.

Please see Wednesday's post to see what I thought about this.

Look, pictures!

Big, busy, and loud.


Consider yourself lucky I didn't include sound files with these pics. My ears were bleeding by the time we left.


Probably the most interesting part of the show were the shiny, plastic leather-clad girls dancing to techno music on stage and posing for pics off stage.


I guess this one is so famous that people actually asked for her autograph.


An Epson girl.


Another Epson girl. Actually, I don't think she realized that I wasn't interested in her. I was actually trying to take a picture of that guy in the foreground. Damn, he is HOT.


The ViewSonic parrots.


Yes, there's a poor shmuck inside that thing.


This one falls into the "I could have told you that" category.


I would have taken more pictures of the shiny, plastic leather-clad girls, but Wei revoked my camera privileges.

We did get a pretty sweet deal on a camera. It's so cool, it stands on its side. Landscape is dead.


And in case you're wondering, yes, I did use our new Canon IXUS 860 IS to take a picture of our new Canon IXUS 860 IS. It's that good.

Jason

I Sowemnwy Swear. . .

This article made my week.

It immediately reminded me of a news report I saw about a theme park in Beijing that shamelessly uses popular American and Japanese cartoon characters in its "theme park." I know most people will say that there are more important things in the world than who's using Mickey Mouse to make a buck, but its time these counterfeiters learned a lesson.

My favorite part is the mother who wonders why Disney is the only one who should be allowed to use Mickey Mouse in its theme park. It's not that these are just shady, unscrupulous people, but they really have no appreciation for what intellectual property is. The counterfeiters should be taught a lesson and future generations should be better educated.

Jason

Eye Candy

One of the unique things I love about Taiwan is how you almost feel like you are looking at two places at once. When in a certain area or district, you will see buildings, homes, construction sites, et cetera, in the foreground, but beyond that in the background are mountains that look farther away than they probably are. Here are some photos I took in the Shilin district in northern Taipei.

This first one was taken from the platform of the Jiantan MRT train station.





Same spot, but the photo above is looking one direction and the photo below is looking the opposite direction.


Jason

Gettin' Whacked

Several months ago when I gave my first demo at this cram school, I was shocked to see a guy walking up and down the aisle with a giant stick. He would use it to tap students on the shoulder if they weren't paying attention or doing homework from another class. After teaching there for a while, I got used to it. I even got used to whenever a student got whacked on the hand. I guess depending on the seriousness of what they did, they get whacked on either the palm, the back of the hand, or the wrist. I don't know which hurts worse, and I don't want to know.

Like I said, I was surprised to see this at first, but I eventually got used to it. You learn not to let the occasional whack interrupt your class. When I told Wei or some other Taiwanese about it, they looked a little surprised. I guess most cram schools are phasing this out. I never really liked the fact that this was happening and felt that it just distracts the students more when Mr. Ramrod is walking up and down the rows carrying his Stick of Discipline while I'm trying to teach.

I never liked it until today.

Yes, it's a bunch of Junior High kids who don't care and think that their dramas come before their education. Everyone went through that. But when I tell everyone to repeat after me, then repeat, dammit! When I write aisle on the board and ask you how to pronounce this word because you keep screwing it up, then don't be a smart-ass and say, "apple."

When that happened I just stared at him. The teaching assistant ran over and told him to stand up. He became one of many in the classroom standing there waiting for the Bludgeon of Retribution. And finally it came.

Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!

Suddenly they were more than happy to repeat.

Jason

I. . . SAW. . . BEOWULF!!!

And I really enjoyed it. I'm not going to get into a rant about whether or not technology has ruined animation, if mocap is really animation, where is Walt when you need him, blah, blah, blah. I'm getting sick of reading all of these 2D versus 3D debates on the message boards. What about the topics that matter? Like the fact that Dreamworks still wants to make two more Shrek movies? Or how they were trying to make a G.I.Joe movie without Cobra? Or how organic web shooters turned out to be a good idea? Seriously, people. Get a life!

Story. First of all, if you think this is the Cliffs Notes version of the epic poem, then of course you won't like it. If you want to know the real story, then read the book. This is definitely epic, but more like Transformers epic. The story never really dragged, and I never thought to check the time.

Characters. For once the hero isn't the lamest character in the movie. Beowulf is such an arrogant, pompous ass, that not even Angelina Jolie and her terrible accent can overshadow this hero. Sure, he exaggerates how many monsters he's fought and how big they were, but that doesn't mean that the man is any less brave.

Wealthow was not as useless as I was afraid she would be, although I didn't think putting her in danger near the end of the film was necessary. She didn't need to be a damsel in distress.

The character I probably liked the most was Wiglaf. This was the kind of character that you know has a long history with Beowulf. He is aware of Beowulf's flaws, but still remains loyal.

Grendel was awesome, although I didn't feel any sympathy for him when he died. I almost feel that the scene with his mother before he died wasn't meant to garner sympathy, but to show us just how ridiculously over-the-top this movie was going to get.

Animation. The one thing that I wish they wouldn't have done was make some of the characters look like their actors. It was distracting in the beginning of the film when they introduced Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) and Unferth (John Malkovich) because I knew who these actors were. I eventually got used to it and found myself wrapped up in the story. Then they introduce Angelina Jo--I mean Grendel's mother. That was distracting. If you can't tell, I'm not a fan.

Most of the time the animation was the kind of fluid you would expect from mocap. However, there were times when the animation was a little choppy, and you could tell it's because these were scenes that were animated from scratch or tweaked.

Another distracting thing were the lip movements. They were a little too subtle and almost looked like bad lip synching. Also, none of the characters could look straight ahead or at each other. They were able to get some nice expressions through eyebrows, foreheads, and mouths. Most of the time they just looked blind.

It isn't perfect, but it is still a hell of a lot better than Polar Express. The biggest problem I had with that movie was the lack of expressions and the number of characters Tom Hanks played. Just knowing that a different actor was used as a voice and model for each character makes Beowulf a lot richer.

Overall, I enjoyed it. Although I would probably only recommend it to people who are really curious about where this technology is going. It isn't the future of film, but it is definitely going somewhere.

Jason

Meet the Prez

On our way to lunch today, Wei and I were walking past the Mackay Hospital. We noticed a lot of fancy black cars and police officers. We were wondering what the big deal was as we were being rerouted around the cars and cops. As we walked past, we looked into the hospital and saw what the big deal was. Taiwan's president Chen Shui-bien was walking out with his entourage of about twenty men dressed in suits.

I don't know what he was doing there. Maybe he was getting a checkup after this nasty little episode.

It was exciting. This is my second time seeing a president in person. The first time was George Bush the First when he visited Enid, OK--er, I mean, Chicago. Because I grew up in Chicago. Yeah.

Jason

Gobble Gobble!

Jason